Photo Courtesy of Jessica Ruano
A professional sexual health educator with an alarming lack of tact, Nadine Thornhill is used to airing out other people’s unmentionables. Her sex column, Dirty Laundry, runs the last Friday of each month on Apt613. To ask your questions, or to say hello to Nadine, contact her at dirtylaundry613@gmail.com.
For the full smorgasboard of Nadine’s musings check out her blog, Adorkable Thespian.
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Dear Dirty Laundress,
I work for a small company in an equally small office. I’m really attracted to one of my co-workers and I’m pretty sure she’s into me as well. I’m not sure if I should act on my feelings though. I really like my job and at the back of my mind I have this fear that an office romance could ruin the good thing I’ve got going at work (especially if it eventually turned sour). Should I just keep my feelings to myself in this case?
Tell her how you feel, TCoB. Every potential relationship also has the potential for problems. But the thing with problems is that they can be discussed, negotiated or simply accepted as part of the risk inherent in hooking up with people. You can always find a reason NOT to be with someone. What is much harder is finding someone who is as into you as you are into to them. If you do decide to date, I think you would be wise to establish some boundaries that will help you maintain your professionalism at work. For example, “no kissing in the presence of staff” or “no afternoon delight in the lunch room” or what have you. Your concerns are valid, but fear should never dictate the terms of a relationship. The people involved should.
By the way, I’m assuming your use of the term “co-worker” means this person is not your boss, nor vice-versa. If one of you is in a position of power over the other, I would advise both of you to tread with a little more caution. Make sure you’re familiar with the workplace policies on sexual harassment before you get together. Again, these things can be worked out, but if a relationship makes you vulnerable to legal action, it’s best to be aware of that.
